How To Train Your Pet Shinigami
by ShadowSword524
Summary: Ichigo has to train his new "pet shinigami," so it - she won't cause trouble. Slightly OOC. Rated K . One-shot. R&R


**Oh, you'll never guess what movie I was watching when I had this idea. ;) Just being sarcastic. But seriously, I was searching for inspiration and I found this. I hope you guys like it! **

_How To Train Your Pet Shinigami_

Ichigo Kurosaki here. Yea, **the** Ichigo Kurosaki. Most people in Karakura know me as the guy who has bright orange hair and beats up gangs single-handedly. My father, Ishiin, often gets complaints about my behavior, but he ignores them because he knows what I'm doing is right. Although, on occasion, he tells me that I need to get a hobby, or a girlfriend, or something. Last time we had this talk he told me to get a pet and spend my time training it. Hah! Like I have that sort of time. I can't take a pet to school, and on top of that, we don't even have that much of a yard. We'd get more complaints from the neighbors than we already are.

Besides, I already have a pet, of sorts, and mine is special. What I have is my very own pet shinigami, and I spend most of my time training _her_ on how to act. All in all, a dog is out of the question. Now, I'm going to tell you exactly how to train a shinigami.

XXX

Step One: Juice Boxes

It was about the middle of the school year, so my friends and I had our daily routine planned out. We were sitting on the roof, eating lunch, when I noticed her struggling with a juice box. I sighed, and walked over to her. I offered to help her with it like I had countless time before, earlier in the year. She refused. That's the one thing I haven't been able to train her out of: stubbornness. She wouldn't let me help her with the juice box, again. She continued to fiddle with it while I stood and watched her. After about two minutes, she gave an exasperated gasp and held the snack out for me to take. I shook my head, and chuckled.

I took a step, so now I was behind her. I gently grabbed her by her wrists, and I used my hands to direct hers in the proper technique. I showed her exactly how to take the straw and punch a hole in the top of the box. Once the straw was in, I still held her wrists. I asked if she had gotten all that. To my surprise she pulled the straw out, and said she needed to see it one more time. I repeated the process.

Step one complete. Accomplishment: I don't have to be bothered with juice boxes anymore, not that it was ever that bad to begin with.

XXX

Step Two: Coffee

It is important to train your shinigami to be resistant to human-made products. Coffee is one such product. Coffee is bitter, so start out in small proportions.

I was drinking my morning glass when this step started. She came into the kitchen and me drinking what she now refers to as a "liquid battery." She leaned over my shoulder and asked me for a sip. I warned her, but did she listen? Of course she didn't listen. She downed half of the cup, and instantly ran to the bathroom. She screamed that I had poisoned her, and told me never to bring that "awful concoction" anywhere near her ever again.

Four days later, she was drinking her own morning cup along with me without that slightest sign of disgust.

Step two complete. Accomplishment: I get to watch Renji squirm when she offers him a cup.

XXX

Step Three: Basic Tricks

There's one very intrusive activity that occurs during my day. That activity is school. Fortunately, I have trained my shinigami to remedy that situation for me. All I have to do is stand in the middle of the hall, and then she runs up to me and drags me out of school to go kill a hollow.

Unfortunately, there's a downside to this trick. She likes to use more violent methods of removing me from my place of education. Her actions vary from "hitting me where it hurts" and then taking me to the "bathroom," since that what it looks like, or she takes me to the nurse after knocking me out cold with a kick to the face.

Step three complete. Accomplishment: I've managed to accumulate a couple of bruises.

XXX

Step Four: Upsides and Downsides

Well, like every other pet, shinigami have downsides to them. I spend most of my time at school with her, so people often say I'm "over-attached." I really don't mind, because I am attached to my little shinigami. Seriously, who couldn't enjoy being around her? By the way, don't tell her I said that. My training methods require a firm countenance.

She also keeps you up at night with her soul pager's incessant beeping. I've tried to tell her that it beeps when a hollow is near, and that she doesn't need to use it **all the time**. She responds with "I have business to work on." I can't really find any upside to this problem, since I'm already tired from the darn thing actually does find hollows.

Step four… Well, this one will always be in progress, I guess. There are some things we just can't change about ourselves.

XXX

Step Five: Interactions

I think it's best if this step was told in third person.

Ichigo was sitting on his bed reading manga. Rukia hopped in through his window, and stared down at him. She then hopped into his desk chair, and spun around playfully. _All pets are fun when you watch them play._

"Where've you been, midget?" Ichigo asked.

"Shut up, idiot!" Rukia snapped back, as she slapped him on the back of the head.

"Geez! What'd I do?"

"I'm just petite, that's all."

"… Right, whatever."

"Anyway, where was I? I was pulling a double overnighter in Soul Society. Captain Ukitake fell ill, and I had to go and help since Kiyone and Sentaro are basically useless."

"Oh," Ichigo said, just noticing how tired Rukia looked.

"Anyway, let me read that," Rukia grabbed for the manga.

"No way! I'm still reading it!"

"Then read it to me," Rukia suggested, hopping onto Ichigo's bed.

"What?"

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaassseee, strawberry," Rukia pouted, _another trick she's mastered wonderfully._

"Fine."

Ichigo proceeded with reading Rukia. As he read, Rukia curled up into a ball, and leaned into his chest. Ichigo put his arm around her shoulders, making it seen like it was more convenient for reading. When he finished, Rukia was almost asleep.

"Your voice is very soothing, Ichigo," Rukia said.

"Huh?" Ichigo asked, slightly surprised.

"Your voice, it's soothing."

"Um, thanks, Rukia."

"What do you find soothing?"

"Me? Well, I…"

"Come on, Ichigo, what?"

"I actually find your eyes soothing. Their color, it's very peaceful."

Rukia sat up and looked at Ichigo, wide-eyed. She stayed that way for a few seconds, Ichigo meeting her gaze. Amber collided with amethyst. Then, Rukia's eyes softened and she smiled at Ichigo. Rukia leaned towards Ichigo; eyes now closed, and kissed him. Ichigo returned the kiss. He grabbed the back of her head with his hand, and ran his fingers through her hair. When they broke apart, they smiled at one another. Then, Rukia got some well-deserved rest, at Ichigo's side.

Step five of training complete. I don't really think interactions need any adjustment, but maybe they could use a little more practice.

"Hey, Rukia!"

**Yea, just a little idea that popped into my head. I know it's OOC, but I just felt like writing it like that. Read and Review. ShadowSword524: over and out.**


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